Today is a day filled with mixed emotions and fond memories. It's my daughter's first day at university, and not just any university—it's the same one I attended many years ago. Listening to her get ready this morning, I couldn't help but feel a wave of nostalgia wash over me. The excitement lingered in her eyes, and there was a flutter in her voice with an undertone of nervousness. It just made me reminiscent of the first day with her. As she shared her anxieties and excitement over chat, I remembered my own journey—a new world, the thrill of meeting new people, and the endless possibilities lying ahead. Her stories made me smile and at the same time, brought back a flood of memories. I remember walking those same halls, finding my way to classes, making friends—many who became almost family. I remember the late-night study sessions, the laughter, and even the few tears. University life was a rollercoaster of emotions and shaped me into the person I am today. Trying to relate to her and calm her anxieties, I shared my experiences in the hope that maybe I could show her what an amazing adventure lay ahead.
It's strange how life comes full circle. Seeing her walk the same paths, sit in the same classrooms, feel the same pleasures and struggles that were once mine, it's a beautiful feeling. It was like living my youth again through her. My eyes got teary when she left for her first day of school. She was growing up, moving on into a new life journey, and I am here, like her cheerleader, with every stride. My heart is so full of joy but also carries some tinge of sadness because she is no longer my little girl; now she is a woman able to embrace the world. It isn't just another day for her; it's a reminder of the beautiful journey we are on. Life is creating memories, and today, we have added one precious memory to our collection. To my daughter, her dreams, and the wonderful adventure that lies ahead.
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Life in the Philippines is most often a blend of beauty and challenge. The recent floods in Manila are a firm affirmation of that fact. I watched these people coping with the waters from the floods on some videos, and it was really so touching, very strong, and very positive. No matter how the water was creeping up on them, they still were able to smile and help one another out. Seeing these scenes reminds me of how it feels like to overcome other difficult times we have faced. It was in the year 2013 when Typhoon Haiyan struck, one of the world's most powerful storms. To say the damage was overwhelming would be an understatement. But so, too, was the courage of the people—families who had lost everything worked together to rebuild; communities mobilized and found hope in a collective cause. Another that I can remember is the typhoon Ondoy 2009. Images of people walking on chest-deep waters, carrying their children and whatever they could save, are just imprinted. But even in such a situation, there were acts of unbelievable kindness. Strangers helped one another; volunteers brought food and clothes, and everybody did his or her part to lift each other up.
What touches me most deeply is the resilience of the Filipino spirit. We have this miraculous way of always finding the light even in the darkest of times. Our strong faith, close family ties, and supportive communities allow us the strength to face any challenges. We believe that no matter how tough things get, we will overcome them together. Let me emphasize, though, that I also share some kind of difficulties, being an Overseas Filipino Worker. Being away from family, faced with demands and expectations of foreign employment, and dealing with life in another culture get tough. But in all these, I try my best to have the same resilience I see in those smiles: their hopes are endless, even amidst hardship, and it keeps me going. The recent floods in Manila confirm, in fact, how life is unpredictable; but at the same time, it shows the Filipino people's resilience and spirit. We do everything with courage, relying on faith, family, and community. And through it all, we still find reasons to smile, laugh, and move on, never losing that spark of joy and hope that defines us, even in the darkest of times. At some point in our lives, we find ourselves standing at a crossroads, reflecting on the years gone by and contemplating the path ahead. For me, this moment marked the beginning of what is often referred to as a midlife crisis. This term, laden with negative connotations, doesn’t fully capture the depth and complexity of this experience. It’s not merely a crisis; it’s a profound period of self-examination, growth, and transformation. Let me share with you my personal journey through this transformative phase, in the hope that it may resonate with you and offer some solace.
I remember one evening; while driving home, my focus was shifted to the sunset. As the sky turned shades of pink and orange, a wave of sadness washed over me. The beauty of the moment was undeniable, but so was the sense of something missing. I realized that there have been changes happening in my interests and desires. The things that once brought me joy seemed mundane, and I felt an inexplicable yearning for something more. It was as if I was waking up from a long slumber, suddenly aware of the passage of time and the finite nature of life. This realization was both terrifying and exhilarating, propelling me into a period of intense introspection.
WHAT The struggle of midlife is real and multifaceted. It’s not just about grappling with the aging process or mourning lost youth; it’s about confronting deeply ingrained fears and insecurities. For me, it was a battle between my desire for change and the comfort of familiarity. I found myself questioning my choices, both past and present. Was I living authentically? Had I compromised my dreams for the sake of others? These questions haunted me, leading to sleepless nights and anxious days. I felt torn between the life I had built and the one I yearned for. One particularly difficult night, I found myself awake at 3 AM, staring at the ceiling. My mind was racing with thoughts of missed opportunities and unfulfilled dreams. In that quiet, dark moment, I realized I couldn’t go on like this. I needed to make a change, but I didn’t know where to start. During this tumultuous time, I sought solace in conversations with friends and loved ones. I discovered that I was not alone; many were facing similar challenges. Sharing our experiences created a sense of commonness and support, helping me navigate the emotional rollercoaster. It was through these honest dialogues that I began to find clarity and courage. WHO Transformation is the heart of the midlife journey. It’s about shedding old identities and embracing new ones, a process that is both painful and liberating. My transformation began with small, deliberate steps towards self-discovery and renewal. I started prioritizing self-care, both physically and mentally. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and mindfulness practices became integral parts of my routine. Hopefully, these changes will not only improve my well-being but also gave me the strength to face my fears head-on. Pursuing passions and hobbies that I had long neglected became a source of immense joy. I started writing again, a pastime I had abandoned for quite a long time. The act of creating something beautiful from my thoughts was incredibly therapeutic, allowing me to express emotions through the words I weave. Although my professional life isn’t undergoing a significant shift as much as I hoped for, I began exploring new opportunities, enriching myself more and learning new things that aligned with my values and passions. This wasn’t an easy transition, and there were moments of doubt and insecurity. However, my goals are alive within me, and such a renewed sense of purpose kept me going. I look forward vividly to the day I would finally leave my long-term job. I’m certain that the fear of the unknown will be overwhelming, but so will the excitement of new possibilities. As I think about walking out of the office for the last time, I could imagine a mix of sadness and exhilaration. But thinking that I will be stepping into an uncharted territory, I knew I would thrive. I believe it. HOW Emerging from the other side of a midlife crisis, I realized that this journey had imparted invaluable lessons. It taught me the importance of living authentically and staying true to oneself. It’s easy to lose sight of our dreams in the hustle of daily life, but midlife offers a chance to realign with our true selves. I learned that it’s never too late to pursue new passions or make significant changes. Age is just a number, and the courage to reinvent oneself can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Finally, I understood the power of vulnerability and connection. Sharing my struggles and listening to others created bonds that were incredibly healing. We are not meant to navigate life’s challenges alone, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. IT IS WHAT IT IS As I move through the middle chapters of my life, I'm learning to see this time as a chance to grow and change for the better. It's a moment to look at our lives anew, reconnect with what we love, and build stronger, deeper connections with those around us. A midlife crisis isn't just a time of worry; it can be a fresh start, a rediscovery of ourselves. By facing our fears and welcoming new changes, we can come out stronger and more content. If you're on this journey too, remember you're not alone. Embrace the unknown, reach out for help, and believe in your power to shape a life that truly shows who you are. Midlife isn't an end—it's a chance to start anew, to rewrite our stories with bravery and kindness. Thank you for sharing in my journey. May your own path be filled with discovery, growth, and profound joy. Ever since I can remember, I've been the one everyone leans on. My colleagues, friends, and family— they all seem to come to me whenever they need support, advice, or just someone to lend them a hand. Initially, it felt great to be the reliable one, the rock everyone could cling to. But as time went on, this role began to feel heavy, more like a burden than an honor. Sometimes, it feels like I'm more of a resource than a person. It seems like people only check in to see what I can do for them, not how I'm doing. They come to me with their needs, and once they're met, they disappear, leaving me empty and wondering if they would do the same for me. The silence is deafening when I'm the one in need. It forces me to question the value of my relationships. Am I only appreciated for what I can give? This question hurts, leaving a lingering sense of loneliness. I've come to understand that giving shouldn't leave me feeling empty. Real relationships—built on mutual respect and understanding—are about balance. They're not transactions but shared connections where both sides show they care. Yet, I find myself always being the giver, and I have to ask myself why the balance is so off. I know I need to set boundaries. It's not about giving less but expecting a basic level of respect and consideration in return. Saying "no" or "not now" is something I'm learning to do, watching to see who truly values me for more than what I can provide. Those who truly care understand. Those who don't—well, maybe they were never really there for me. This journey to self-realization is tough. It's full of self-doubt, sadness, but ultimately, it leads to empowerment. Recognizing my worth is the first step in changing how my relationships work. I am more than a giver; I deserve to receive as well. Lately, I've felt drained from always being the one who gives. I believe my needs matter too, but it's hard for me to stop giving. I keep wondering, when will it be okay to ask for the love and support I so freely give to others? I dream of a world where relationships are truly two-way streets, and it's perfectly fine to ask for the balance I so rightfully deserve. |
HappinessMy happiness comes from the people who believe in me and inspire me every day. They are my strength.
Life is a beautiful, fleeting journey. Despite the challenges, I see beauty and miracles everywhere. Growing up was tough, but my Dad was my beacon of hope. He taught me to believe in myself and to embrace life's limitless possibilities. His lessons and spirit guide me still. I lost him years ago, but I carry his memory everywhere I go, hoping he's proud of me—as I've always been of him. I promised him I'd live life to the fullest. Now, I find joy in writing, traveling, and simply living, cherishing each moment. This, I believe, is something we all should embrace: finding happiness in every part of life. Archives
October 2024
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