A Mom's Thought

This morning, I woke up and found my daughter sobbing from her sleep.  It was only half past six a.m, and both of us had barely slept for only four hours because she watched TV till dawn.  She was crying while saying, “Mama, please send me to school”.

 

It was one of those heartbreaking experiences that I live up being a Mom.  It’s always hard for me to see my daughter cry, especially when I know that I’m part of what she’s being upset about.

 

My daughter, Alia, turned three years in August this year.  Most of my friends say that she’s smarter than most of other kids her age.  Most of the time, she talks like a complete grown up.  When I and my husband discuss things in front of her and suddenly we raise our voices or say inappropriate words, she tries to stop us.  She often tells us which are bad words and which are good ones.  She growls “Say PLEASSSE, Mama” whenever I ask her to get something for me or to give something to someone.  She says, “Excuse Me” when she wants to be excused, and she mumbles “Thank you” to even simple things or favor you give her.

 

Whenever I come home from work, she runs to me as I enter the house.  She expects me to bring something for her—a candy, a toy, a book, a writing stuff, coloring pictures—anything.  When she’s happy, she tells me everything that she did the whole day I was away.  She tells me how many times her younger sister poops, which shows she watched on TV, and how long she did take a bath.  But, when I am too busy in my work the whole day and I forget to bring her something, when she hugs me at home while checking my pockets and my bag, she becomes so upset whenever she finds nothing- and worse, sometimes, she cries and she snobs me the whole night.. 

 

Here in Saudi Arabia , it’s not easy to raise kids.  They grow up so fast, we hardly notice them because we’re busy with our daily tasks at work.  Kids are left in the house, alone with their baby sitters.  In my case, I was was just able to recruit a baby sitter, this year, from our province in Mindoro to take care of my two kids.  But before that, I drop my kids to almost anyone who’s willing to take care of them- sometimes even way too far from our house.  There was even a month when I could not find a Filipina to take care of my baby, that I was forced to leave her with a Bangali during daytime.

 

Last year, I enrolled Alia in a Day Care Facility.  She was very happy to be with other kids.  She memorized all the songs that the teacher teaches them.  At home, she speaks about  nothing but her story in school.  She tells everyone she meets (or talks to, at the phone) about her classmates, her teacher, and what they do at school. But after 2 months, I stopped sending her to the Day Care because she got sick.  She was barely 2 years and a half that time, and she easily got the infections from other students.  For almost a week, she was hospitalized due to Chest Infection.  I was too afraid to send her to school again.

 

Early this year, I could not find somebody to take care of her again (before my yaya came from Mindoro ).  So, again, I brought her to the same Pre- school facility.  When I enrolled her, there were 24 other kids with her in the same facility.  But after a month, their population increased to 39.  And in two months, Alia’s health was back to a bad shape.  She had several nose bleeding episodes in a week. She always had cough or colds or fever, or all three of them.  It was hard for me to leave her in the Day Care facility everyday, knowing that she’s not immune to all the viruses, and viruses , and more viruses.

 

Fortunately, my Yaya arrived from Mindoro last Summer, and Alia agreed to stay home.  I had to convince her to stay at home because it was too hot outside, and if she goes out to school, her nose will bleed.  She often gave me that “unsure” look on her face, as if she doesn’t believe me, or at least asking, “Ma, are you telling the truth??”.

 

After some time, the summer heat was already off.  I noticed Alia looking outside the window.  Several times, she asked me why she’s not going to school yet, although it is neither very hot outside anymore, nor her nose bleeding.  I was sure running out of good excuses.

 

My husband and I have decided to send her to school next school year- in June 2009.  My husband believes that she’s still very young.  I disagree with him because I know that my daughter wants to go to school, and  even her former teacher tells me that she really learns faster than most of other kids older than her.  But I cannot convince my husband that we enroll her now.

 

 Anyway, until June 2009, I would still have to make excuses to convince her to stay at home.